A little emotional...

... is probably an understatement. I may update more later, but I guess since I posted on here that today was THE day that I better rectify my declaration to my world. Today is NOT the day we will be introducing our Lyon cub. There have been some test results that have caused us to cancel the delivery and reevaluate. We will find out more today just what this entails and what we are going to do about it. I would say sorry to any of you who read this, but really, I am probably taking it harder than all of you put together. I guess I have a request, please pray for baby's health and my endurance and health too. There is a lot to take in and wisdom for decisions is very much needed. Thanks. I would go cry now but I don't think there is a tear left to shed.

Coming soon to a pride near you!

Well, I am happy to say that in 2 weeks (and 1 day) we will have a new Lyon cub to announce to the world. Or, at least our world. The current scheduled date for the c-section is planned for January 26th. While this seems so very close it also seems extremely far away. There are plenty of cravings, contractions, and sleepless nights over here. I guess we will see if they go away once the baby comes:)  This will be the last announcement we get to make like this so I can't decide if I am happy or melancholy about it. Either way this baby will make our house just that much more chaotic, loud, and filled with blessings. I am very thankful that God has entrusted us to raise these goobers. While I am tired, sore, and ready to be done I am also enjoying my last few moments with Bren, Ikee, and Calla before life changes again. So I will try not to grumble too much, except to my mommy, and be grateful that my belly is the size of a small country because it means for good things to come.

Baby Update

I don't know about any of you, but I am feeling kind of gypped that we get to endure this cold weather without the reward of any white precipitation to play in. If I am gonna be cold, I want to at least have have fun while I freeze. Hopefully that will change soon. Not that I want to be snowed in or anything, I just want to play.

As for baby, we have passed the 30 week mark. For my body, that means not much longer. Lyon Cub has decided that it doesn't like it inside and has stopped moving for the majority of the day which is very uncharacteristic. We have seen my doctor a bit more than normal for non-stress tests and extra checkups. Cub has also moved down pretty low, I don't dare say "dropped" as that has many implications with it, but is causing a LOT of pressure. And some crazy nausea caused by the pressure. I feel like a pill popper these days. No mommy should have to take pills just to function without puking on her children. Anywho, my doctor has resorted to checking my progression during our visits for fear that early labor may accompany this pressure and lack of movement. I don't foresee us meeting this baby before Christmas, but after that, I am not stupid enough to make any guarantees.

Contractions are a normal for me as well. So I find that I don't mention them when asked. I guess doctors don't like that. Might need to be more forthcoming from now on. Although I did tell my doctor that I won't be coming in to his office or the hospital until they are consistently 3 minutes apart and are for a good portion of the day. I got the pouty face in reply. Which I really thought only girls had mastered, but as a doctor he had that not-happy-with-that-decision look down pat. Quite impressive. And I still stand by my decision... I guess by number 4 I know myself well enough to not waste any more days in the hospital with monitors, shots, IVs, etc. just to be sent home because I am not dilating.... I don't dilate. I know this. I tried to dilate for 30 hours with Bren and got nowhere. And when my contractions were less than a minute apart with Isaac I was still tighter than a duck's ... well, you get the gist. I don't mean to sound arrogant or not doctor-order following I just know myself and don't have the desire to waste anybody's time.

Anyway, I guess that is the nutshell of where we are. We are excited to meet our new one. It is kind of bitter sweet that this is the last time we enter this phase. I don't feel like I have done a good enough job savoring my time pregnant or my other kids' phases during pregnancy. I don't enjoy being pregnant *gasp*. I know, I am weird/cold/scarred (literally) but I just rather have the end product and am anxious to hold this little one and love on it and see his/her big siblings meet their new "baby". It gets me excited to even think we are close. Well, knowing me and my great ability to blog the next post will probably contain pictures of Lyon Cub. I do hope it will be a while.

R.I.P.

Well, never thought I'd say it, but our family loves Lady Gaga. Well, at least the chicken version. I really have only heard one or two of Lady Gaga the artist's songs and wasn't really that impressed. But her personality was too good to pass up for a name for our crazy haired chicken. 

Lady Gaga! Our white Crested Black Polish.

We don't know where you went or why you left but we will miss you. The kids are heart broken and hope you will return for your daily wagon rides with Bren.

(but if you don't we are getting 3 more next spring to make it up to the kiddos)

Big Smiles

So, my last post was kind of a downer. Sorry. But your response to it was very kind and thoughtful. Thank you. I will work through it, in my own time. Well, I guess in His timing, actually.  Nonetheless, I do have very exciting news. Bren has had open ears lately to our conversations about the Bible and God. She is soaking in so much it astounds me. Well, we attend AWANA at our church every Wednesday night. It is a time where she gets to play, learn what the Bible has to say, and memorize verses. Jeff and I are small group leaders in our Jr.High while she attends her Cubbie program. 

Tonight, while driving home Jeff and I were recapping the night when Bren, out of nowhere, says "I prayed tonight". Thinking it was like any other comment, I silenced everyone and asked her what she prayed about. Her response floored me. She said that she prayed for Jesus to come into her heart. To live in her forever. At first I wasn't sure she knew what she was saying, or maybe repeating something she had heard. We asked a few questions and she was very sincere and seemed to understand what she meant.

I really can't even begin to explain how I feel. It has to be one of the best feelings a parent can have. It seriously brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. My baby just made a huge decision that will impact the rest of her life in ways she doesn't even know. I am excited to see what God has planned for her. 

Anyway, I just couldn't help but to share that with you all. I can hardly sit still and can't stop smiling. These are some happy tears over here. I am truly overwhelmed and give all the glory to God.

My one big struggle.

OK, so I know, two posts from me in one night. Is she sick or something? Obviously something must be terribly wrong... well, no. I am just trying to vent something that has been looming over me for a while. Over 5 years to be more exact.

So here it comes. We are called to live with great expectation of the coming again of Christ (1 Pet. 1:2-4). It should shape our lives, cause us to act and respond unlike any other people group, and ultimately be the end product of our thoughts/days/you name it. I also know that we are sinners at the time of conception (Ps. 51:4-6). And to top that, the only way to salvation is to confess with your mouth, repent and ask forgiveness of Jesus Christ , to be born again with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit (Rom. 10:9-10).

So here now is where I am struggling.  How am I as a mother supposed to have great expectation of Christ's return when my babies aren't going to be in eternity with me? I know that our purpose on earth and in heaven is to glorify Christ, but the human part of me, the mother part of me just wants to scream "WAIT!!! Don't come yet!!! My babies aren't ready yet...  I'm not ready yet..." 

Now I know that their are a lot of different views on this. I had been taught a good portion of my life that their was an age of accountability, that it didn't apply until... you fill in an age. Well, I feel as though there is no biblical backing to that. If we are born sinners and the only way to heaven is to confess and believe in your heart, well, my babies can't do that yet.  I can't have great expectation. I have tried. I have prayed. Fervently.  And I fear that I am doing an injustice to myself, my family, and least of all, my God. I have shared this with a few people, as it is my absolute most greatest fear. The fear that my children won't accept Christ as their Lord. Their Savior.  And believe me, it is the most talked about topic between me and God.

So now, I don't have an answer to my dilemma, my struggle, my one biggest fear, but I do know that God is holy, just, and sovereign. And while I find myself falling back to my screams of "NOT YET!" I know that He has the game plan, He knows the future, He calls the shots, He calls the audibles, He has ultimate authority and I need to rest in that assurance. As hard as that is for me.  I don't know if I will ever get past this. I do know that it drives a lot of conversation with me and the kiddos. I know they are soaking it in, even if there isn't fruit yet. I also know that it is my responsibility as a mother to live out what I believe and that it can speak volumes to them more than any sermon I could ever give (I'm boring anyway).

I just thought I would share. Maybe I am being over emotional... I am pregnant you know. But it truly has been on my heart for over 5 years and I hope that one day I will find peace about it. Complete peace that I couldn't explain to anyone.

Boys... Really?

I really do think that if anyone is having boy problems, guy problems, husband problems, some sort of issue understanding the male gene they need to just come to our house, sit back, and watch our roosters.I think it would explain everything. 


We have two roosters. One, Two. Two. Two roosters that were supposed to be hens. What am I supposed to do with two roosters? Well, not a lot, I guess. They are good-for-nothing strutting featherballs that torment the kids and the hens. I am not saying all roosters are this way, but ours are. They seem to think their job is purely to let us know they own the place, yet they go running once I enter their domain. When I manage to catch one... I know, funny word picture, huh? Pregnant short lady waddling around chasing a rooster (who are incredibly fast, mind you), cornering one only to have it escape by running between her legs. Anyway, once you are done laughing keep reading... Again, when I catch one they always glare at me like I just took their man card. They struggle. I tighten my grip. They glare. I win. I always do.  Yet when I let them down they run off to a safe distance from me, spread their legs and stand tall, and get this... CROW! Like they just won a huge battle. Really? I totally had you in submission two minutes ago. It baffles me. But so does my husband at times...


Anyway, really it comes down to the fact that I won. Me. Yours truly. Why? Because they are getting butchered tomorrow. Take that roosters! Booya!